As we tumble into December and Christmas starts truly sneaking up, I always worry the ever-entertaining operation of present buying will slip into a nightmarish stress fest. Every year, I feel I am beaten over the head by jingles and advertising until I become certain the little drummer boy has started following me home. I’m convinced I can hear a faint ra-pa-pum-pum and the sound of his little slippers quietly trotting along the pavement behind me.
When I’m not concerned about being haunted by carols, I worry about what to buy the hard-to-buy-for persons I know. You know the ones, they merrily buy themselves everything they could ever want and every year you panic and buy them something practical like a rotary hoe. But who really wants a rotary hoe for Christmas?
Enter Jumping Tangents, where we have a collection of deliciously quirky gifts that we promise sir-I-already-have-that does not already have! To save you from stressing about the ever-stressful gift recipient, I have compiled a list (I really do love lists) of Christmas gift ideas that venture off the beaten track. If the little drummer boy follows you there too, I’m sorry I don’t think I can help.
First up: The Penguin of Death Screen Cleaner. We have so much Edward Monkton awesomeness in store, but if I had to pick a favourite this would be it. He has an enigmatic stare that will lull you into a false sense of security before he kills your foes AND he will keep your laptop screen smudge free. You don’t need friends when you have a plushie this bad ass.
He is also strangely attractive
In other things bad ass, these Gangster Flashcards are where it’s at. 30 flashcards feature classic lines from gangster flicks that you can tuck away to bust out in formal situations and increase your mobster cred. Christmas dinner is the perfect time to practice, call your mother-in-law a “gun moll” to really win her over.
Gangster Flash Cards
Next we have All My Friends are Dead. He only came into the store two days ago but he has already become the most beloved mixture of hilarity/sadness. I wish I could crawl into the pages so I can be friends with all the adorable friendless cartoons, but especially the little dinosaur on the cover.
Will you be his friend?
Even though Einstein is dead, he can still be your friend as this adorable Little Thinker Doll. You can even carry him around with you in your bag (but make sure you leave the zip open a little so he can breathe), he likes that.
He has lots of thoughts in his little head
If someone you know has absolutely everything on the terrestrial plane, the best present you can give them is somewhere to stash their cash. This money tin is a great way to let special people in your life know you care and that you’re already planning for them cracking up, like a true pal.
I'm Savin' Up for Therapy!
Yo, check the perm. But seriously, just check it. This little book is a hilarious tribute to the most beautiful of hairstyles. You think your Dad has everything? Bet he hasn’t had a perm. Give him a little nudge in the right direction this Christmas.
I look pretty chill with ma 'do
I really appreciate my pair of Freudian Slippers when I’m in my house, and I think everyone should get that much happiness in life. Slippers are such a nifty gift(y), too, because you can’t really have too many pairs and a NEW pair is just the best thing ever. Also, ‘Freudian Slippers’ is so punny. Everyone loves puns and everyone loves slippers. It’s a win-win for all involved.
Did I mention your toes go in the tongue? YOU CAN MAKE HIM TALK.
Finally, I just want to share this adorable little pack of chewing gum with you. It’s a really cute addition to whatever else you have in mind for your partner and you might even get a really special Christmas giggle when they open it. If you’re lucky. There’s nothing like Christmas spirit captured in a giggle.
But ... we actually did ...
Be sure to check out our website for all your gift-buying needs this Christmas and don’t forget we have free shipping within New Zealand for all orders over $50! Phwoar!
Love Claire x
